Bridehood Revisited: The decline of civilization at $250 a plate: Questions I don't know the answers to

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Monday, October 29, 2007

Questions I don't know the answers to

In reference to the last post, ye of the God Awful Fuggy Fuggy EXTREME (G.A.F.F.E.) there have been many questions asked. I will post them here and explain just why I can't answer them.

Didn't they feel like they were committing murder when they cut the cake?
- I can only assume that a person so devoid of taste is already dead inside.
What about the caterer?
- I would bet good money that members of the catering staff have pictures posed with knives ready to bludgeon.
  - I totally would have.
Was it red velvet inside?
- Honestly, would it surprise anyone?
  - Nah, chances are that a person so self-centered as to have a cake statue created probably has very specific taste, uh, standards, and the cake had some ridiculous and inedible flavoring, thus creeping out her guests further.
    - Flavors may include, but are certainly not limited to:
      - Onion
      - Sour cream and chives
      - Jalapeno
      - Dead kittens
What would you do if you were served a piece of arm pit, or crotch?
- Yeah, so I wouldn't eat this cake
  - I'd miss this course because I'd be outside sending the picture to everyone I knew via camera phone.
Is there a DSM diagnosis for this?
- Several, I'm sure.
Ew, her real dress was UG-LEE.
- Really, we're surprised that she has taste issues?
OMG, what if you were served an eyeball?
- So, first, ew.
- Okay, so the head is actually a polymer clay
  - Yes, that would make this baby a keepsake
    - Maybe it's for their mantel
    - To freak people right the fuck out
    - To permanently damage the psyches of small children (Much like Star Jones)
Doesn't it make you think of it like a perverse sequel to that American Pie, well, Pie scene?
- Not until now.