Trashing

I have vascillated greatly in my feelings about trashthedress.com. On one hand, it seems so cool, and freeing. On the other, it's just dumb.

There are some people it works for. There are some people who have the personality to pull it off, and who have a photographer to make it look cool. I find that a lot of the pictures on the site make the brides look like they fell while crawling over the fence of the house party after prom when they were trying to escape the po-po. Which is to say, really stupid. And dirty. And what's the point?

I think what annoys me most about the site is the reasoning that one should participate in this to show the husband that she'll never wear the dress again.

First, that's just dumb. Totally not even a good reason.

Second, yes, there are psychotic brides who would wear the same dress twice. But these brides? Are totally not the people to do something like this anyway.

Also, I'm pretty sure the vows are supposed to say that she'll never marry again. You know, during that whole promising to love and honor one another so long as they both shall live.

It is clear that many photographers are not good at this. If Jessica Claire tried to convince me, she might persuade me. If Willi Wong  tried to convince me, probably. If I were doing a shoot for Martha Stewart Weddings and they asked me to, oh hell yes. But if I were doing it, I would need an artistic purpose, and need to be done with a true artist.

For me, this would seriously be the very last thing on my mind. Hell, I'd be so hell bent on dieting to get into my dress in the first place that I totally wouldn't be able to think about what I would do with it after the wedding.

And not to mention, I can't stomach the thought of actually trashing  something so very, very expensive.

In short: The day is done. You can save your dress for your daughter. But, at the same time, what is the chance that you would wear your own mother's dress? Not high, huh? I know you think your dress is amazing, but your daughter will feel the same way. Plus, I still have hope that at some time in the future, all strapless dresses will be outlawed for perpetuating the myth that awkward cleavage, armboob (aka pit tit), and atomic fat rolls cowering over satin will be outlawed. It's this hope that keeps me going, people.

Back to the topic, dear...

You could sell your dress. Nothing wrong with that. God Loves eBay.

You could store it forever.

You could also donate it: www.idofoundation.org or www.makingmemories.org.

It is a personal decision. Do what is best. But please don't look like a dumb, muddy, prom queen caught in the rain. Especially in a stupid strapless dress.

Comments

[Isabel]

Okay, so when you mentioned this site before I thought it was a site where people posted pictures of BAD wedding dresses and we got to trash them online. You know, say how ugly they were and how we wouldn't be caught dead in them.

But then I actually looked at the site and figure out what "trash" really means. DUH!!

I think the concept is very interesting. And during the 45 seconds that I was on the site, I was interested.

Since I rented (GASP!!) my dress, I couldn't even do this. But if someone wants to...well, have at it.

[janet]

I think a lot of girls buy a 2nd cheapy dress to trash too. It's mostly a chance to be "new" and "different" and have the best photos and be edgy because once you become a bride it's hard to stand out from all the other brides in the world. The irony is that when enough girls do TTD, then it's not too edgy anymore huh. Then they push the envelope and it's not just slutty poses in the ocean, it's high fashion wannabe in the gross mud. Just my 2 or 3 cents :)

[HollowSquirrel]

People buy 2 dresses? Now that's fucking dumb, and I'll stand by that.

[Nic]

I think it's stupid to buy two dresses and have one to trash.

But then again, sometimes people buy a ceremony dress and a reception dress...

[amieable]

Man, by the time I get married I'm going to make ALL the right moves and have the best advice from you and from Mrs. Squirrel, Isabel and Jan.

I think Janet is right on that people do it to be "different" than all the other brides because as special as your day is (and as special as yours was, Janet!), you still are a bride wearing a white dress.

I am kind of afraid about all the pressure there is for a wedding day to be PERFECT and DIFFERENT. That kind of anxiety might kill me. Also? Where am I going to come up with enough money to buy two dresses, even if one of them is a cheapo David's dress?

It's also weird that someone would buy an article of clothing when the goal is not to, you know: wear it. You just put it on to trash it? Where is the sentimentality or function in that?

[Suzy Q]

I so totally agree with you on the ugliness and ubiquity of strapless wedding dresses. And yet, you can't escape them nowadays. Don't these women realize how awful, and inappropriate, they look? I guess not. Sigh.