Bridehood Revisited: The decline of civilization at $250 a plate: Accosted by the guestbook

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Accosted by the guestbook

Everyone likes to have nice mementos from their wedding day. That's why you hire a photographer. That's why you buy a cake knife, toasting glasses, custom made decorative garter (gag!), and your guest book.

Martha Stewart published an idea a couple of years ago that has guests writing wish notes for the couple and putting them in a cute book with multicolored envelopes. Totally cute. Of course. It's Martha Stewart, duh. So like anything and everything Martha Stewart Wedding related, this became a Hot, HotT, HOTT trend.

But this trend has brought an insurgence of the Guest Book Nazi.

The Guest Book Nazi is a position usually held by a cousin or old friend of the family who is not in the bridal party but had to be included in some way. Sometimes this person goes overboard on their own, and sometimes they are pressured by the bride to make sure that everyone has written not only a comment, but a meaningful comment, to the couple.

The GBN hunts down every attendee, encourages them to say something meaningful and won't let them leave until they have. The GBN can even be a little mean and withhold alcohol or other means of life support so essential for those dates of the bridal party who know not a single soul there and don't want to say anything. The GBN creates a line going into the reception and can (I swear to you) hold the event up for 15 minutes or more.

And for what?

75% of the comments will simply say "Best Wishes", 10% will be directed to one member of the couple making gender divided referring to the amounts of time spent primping in the morning or watching sports, 5% will refer to your sex life (the most popular phrase: "May all your ups and downs be in the bedroom,") another 5% will be lopped off by the groom's friends who have not matured enough to simply say "Best Wishes" and will mumble beer and fraternity story induced gibberish, and that very last 5% may actually contain something unique.

But most importantly, you will probably lose your guest book within a year or two of the wedding. And scrap booking those cute notes? You probably won't get around to it anyway.

01:08 PM in Martha Stewart: Evil & Brilliant | Permalink

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