Many people use the A & B list concept to mold their guest list. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit, but I can kind of understand when there are concerns about space and money. I really, really don't like it. Maybe that's just because of my neurotic fears about being on the B-List of life. Or maybe it's because there isn't a defined rule of etiquette on doing this, but it just feels wrong, and like it shouldn't be allowed. It feels remarkably selfish and bridezilla-like
But if you do it, do it, and just be quiet about it. Seriously, do not tell anyone that you're doing A and B list invites (except for your planner, caterer, etc. so they know how many guests you're planning for). When asked how many people you're inviting, don't hesitate and say, "Well, our A list has 195 folks and our B list has 93." Don't say, "Hey Jane, congratulations you've just been upgraded from the C list to the B list. We'll know the status of your A list application in about a week's time." No one will actually feel honored when you tell them that they're on the A list, they'll just feel like that's a really awkward moment.
There's no way to get around it. If you're going to invite someone, invite someone. If you have too many people, scale down the event in another way. It is your wedding and it will be wonderful and beautiful, however, it is not the Academy Awards where people are clamoring to get a seat and willing to be on a waiting list until the very last minute. If you want these people at your wedding, find a venue and figure out your budget so you will be able to invite them all.
Seriously. I JUST had to advise one of new couples' parents that this is NOT a Good Thing. At All, ever. Because it is RUDE and people on the B list invariably find out and are totally pissed about it.
Posted by: Meepers | Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 01:19 PM