Whenever I meet with a bridal couple, I have a couple of key things that tip me off to what might be an ugly wedding, one of which happens to be Disney.
I don't get the Disney themed wedding. Now, I can sort of see why people have destination weddings at Disney World/Land, but not Disney themed weddings outside of those places. At Disney, you can have a whole wedding weekend with plenty of things to do for everyone. And given the level of skill with which everything is prepared and the level of service able to be provided and the amount of services available all in one place with a single planner? It's not a completely atrocious cost.
Let's look at the realities of this. You want to feel like Cinderella on your wedding day? You can't. Cinderella was enslaved by her ugly step-mother, berated by her awful step-sisters and now she's marrying the love of her life, and she gets to be a princess. She's feeling liberation and validation. If you were going from being locked in a bell tower to being a princess, you too would feel like Cinderella. But you aren't. You are not Cinderella.
If you're really into the Disney Cinderella fairy tale, keep in mind that this woman you are modeling your wedding after? She spoke to mice. She named them. They made her dress. That's not fucking possible. In the real world people like that are put in special places and their doctors give them special drugs.
She also wore glass shoes. There is no comparison between a lucite shoe and a glass shoe. Wearing a glass shoe can only be done in a cartoon. Wearing a lucite shoe should only be done if you're standing on a street corner or working at the Bunny Ranch in Vegas.
Oh, so you're not doing a Cinderella themed wedding, it's a Mickey and Minnie wedding? That's great. You're having a mouse themed wedding. You are having a rodent themed wedding? At this very moment I have mouse traps in my kitchen to catch those disease carrying vermin and KILL THEM. They are vile, disgusting creatures, and again you are structuring your wedding theme around them? Why don't you have a snake themed wedding? Or rat. Or pigeon.
Oh, oh, oh, that's right, they're anthropomorphic, so they're not human, but you play into the game that they are? Good for you. That speaks a lot.
Listen, everyone loves a good cartoon every now and then, but really, on your wedding day??? What do you want, a Sponge Bob wedding? A Simpsons wedding? A Family Guy wedding? A Jem and the Holograms wedding? (Dude, if your husband goes for that, I'm foreseeing problems in the bedroom in your future...) Unless you're hiring a professional caricaturist to do pictures of your guests during the reception (guests love this!), you shouldn't have cartoon characters present (one exception would be if you are a professional animator and that's how you met. That's an exception.)
My boyfriend's sister had a Mickey and Minnie themed wedding...their cake looked like a lawn ornament. Unfortunately I wasn't there, but I have seen the pictures. I'm almost afraid to marry into a family that found this acceptable!
Posted by: shannon | Monday, March 20, 2006 at 03:12 PM